I am

I am as you left me

The first time before

My body heavy, my mind is light

My feet are cold

My whole body aches

Inside I feel the same

As you left me

That very first time before

The wound this time

Fully torn open

Further than that first time

Bleeding. My heart is torn

The tears that come

They are soft at first

They cleanse and cool me

Like a soft summer rain

Then the thunder comes rolling in

This feeling, this pain, the overall emptiness

I feel it come up out of me

It sounds like something inside is dying

Submerged, in pain, wanting to escape

And finally it does.

My body crumbles into the sea of tears

They no longer cleanse

They tear me apart from the inside.

What is left of me?

What is left of me

Is what you left behind all those years ago.

A tired, broken pile

An empty shell, hollow version of who I am

And as my body shakes

I remember the exact feelings

The exact moments

The exact flashes of memory

Of the first time you left me like this

And I cry even more

For letting myself fall for you again.

Flew too close to the sun

One last time

I examine my broken wings

And think “How am I going to heal this time?”