October Third

Coming back into my life

One last time

You messaged me

Not the other way around

You told me to trust you

Blindly trust

Blindly put faith

Blindly love

Yet gave me no reasons

To fulfill these requests

To fulfill your requirements.

Told me to gain you as a person

To gain your respect

That I had to blindly give it to you

Or I was broken.

But you came to me.

I never reached out to you.

You were the one

Who needed the burden of proof.

Yet kept telling me

That you didn’t know what you wanted

What you were looking for.

That you wanted to build as friends

Yet I was supposed to blindly trust

That I wouldn’t get hurt

That you would never hurt me

Even though you hurt me many times before.

I never had to give you anything.

Yet I tried to give you trust

I tried to talk

I tried to love.

But no matter how much I tried

No matter how much I showed

It was never enough.

But reality was,

It was never going to work out

Because you never gave

The emotional security

The emotional security I needed to give myself permission

For my love to thrive.

To make me feel seen.

Because all I want in love

Is to feel seen.

To feel heard.

And therefore feel loved in return.

My trying wasn’t good enough.

But thats good enough reason

To finally let go