The truth

You ask for truths

You ask me so many questions

Some questions I have no answers for

Some are just difficult to put into words

Right in the moment

But I know if I can’t put words

Together right away

You’ll think anything I say is a lie

So I stay silent

And you think I’m hiding something

While also lying to you

Because I know I can never please you

You ask why I don’t just open up

Tell you everything you want to know

Honestly

I don’t want to open up

Yet again

To someone who doesn’t look at me

To someone who doesn’t touch me

To someone who doesn’t hear me

The way I know I deserve.

To open up and let you in

And open myself to pain and rejection

That I know will come

Because I see the way you look at me

The way your eyes aren’t totally there

In those very few moments

We are together.

To open up knowing you’re not fully invested

Would be a mistake on my part.

Being hurt and let down yet again

Would be my own fault

For trusting you

And being left out in the cold

Yet again.

That is the truth.