Letting go

You call it living in the past

When I bring up the things

That concern me

You call you bringing up things

The truth and what should be taken

As complete truth

Not to be ignored

But in turn

You ignore me, my feelings, my reality

Because the truth is

You never valued me as a person

You never sat there and actually listened

You never held space

Especially in the way

You want me to hold space for you

To listen to you

To be a safe space

When you don’t and won’t provide the same

Self soothing can only go so far

Telling myself to hold back

To make YOU comfortable

I sit here uncomfortable and unhappy

I sink down and think

I’m not worth the time

I’m not worth the effort

And I die on the inside

A little more each day

As I await you to say I’m worthy

Enough to listen to

Worthy enough to value as a whole person

My inner child feels the invisibility

Of my childhood

Creeping up in the relationship

And she retreats and she thinks

“This is the way it is always gonna be”

I will always be invisible to you

I will never be valued by you

I will always remain

An afterthought of your past desires