Choice

I wait for your answer

I wait and wait…and nothing

Just as every time in the past

I slowly loose hope

That you’d ever be decent enough

To not leave me like this

Hanging onto the time

Grasping at air

It’s there but it’s not

Just like you

“I’m fine being alone”

But being alone

Choosing to be alone

Means you abandon those

Who just wanted to love you

And so I make this choice

As I lay in bed crying

Paralyzed by the knowledge

That I am also alone

Despite reaching out

My biggest fears confirmed

My paranoia and anxiety

Have even more reasons to keep doubting

To put this memory on my list

Of why I will always be alone

In my pain and sorrow