We stopped talking
Yet again
I had a feeling
That this would happen again 
I didn’t expect things to change
We stay the same
The days pass us by
And we waste
Both of our time
I had a feeling
You don’t actually value me
As a person
An individual
With my own thoughts, feelings
I had a feeling
I’d be left in the cold
So when I felt the ice
Under my feet
I held my breath
And waited
For it to crack
I had a feeling
You’d be gone again
And very soon
It’s hard
To know that feeling was right
It’s funny to think about it now. I’ve been called the ice queen by so many guys in my past. That I’m ice cold, have no feelings, I’m cruel, I’m calculating, you know, the usual complaints when men don’t get what they want.
But if I was emotional or showed feeling…oh lord! I’m too much, I’m dramatic, I’m emotional, I’m just on the rag, etcetera etcetera!
I found it hard to pretend to be someone I’m not in order to keep people hanging around. I physically and mentally don’t have the capacity to be this bubbly and happy go lucky type of person people gravitate towards. I’m not popular, I never will be, and I’ve been more than happy to accept that.
I also found it hard to mix emotions and logic. Honestly I don’t think it’s possible but if you found a way to combine the two in harmony hit a girl up! It’s either I’m in my emotions, feeling, being them. Or I’m blocked off and using my logic to navigate the seas.
Which is probably why I’ve been called the ice queen.
But now more than ever, I’m happy to be the ice queen. I am happy to be cold and alone. Because those who have called me the ice queen, they don’t know the real me. They never did. Maybe they got glimpses here and there but they never experienced the whole me. But do you know why that is? I know why and if you don’t know then that’s fine. You’ll maybe understand one day.
Poetry Witch 